MIRIAM 35-45
Married to Austin for 17 years, she is the youngest of the four sisters, `the baby`. All Miriam`s family are described as being ‘odd’. Miriam is a manipulating drama Queen and can turn on the crocodile tears at the drop of a hat, and she can be impatient. The play is set in her and Austin`s home.

JOSEY 16/17
Josey is the daughter of Miriam and Austin, her Mother’s drama Queen antics just wash straight over Josey`s head, she can be quiet sarcastic where her Mother is concerned. She shows warmth towards her dotty Aunt Mavis. Josey is not quite punk, but almost in the way she dresses.

AUSTIN 40’s
Miriam`s husband, another who disregards Miriam`s dramatic and foolish behavior. Austin has come to accept Miriam`s strange family and tolerates them as he tolerates Miriam. Raises his eyes to ceiling a few times.

TUDOR 60’s/70’s
Tudor is the uncle of the four sisters, he is a dim-witted do gooder but appears to misunderstand what is being said to him. Tudor bakes almond-less almond cakes and wears wellington boots. Miriam cannot tolerate him and tries to get him out of the house as soon as she can.

MARGARET 35-45
Margaret is the second sister we are introduced to in the play, she owns a baby clothing shop and is seen as being mean, (penny pinching), i.e. reversing the charges when she calls Miriam on the phone, she also does not carry money on her. Margaret has no children but is married to Hugh who is `older` than her. Initially it would seem that Margaret wears the trousers in the relationship.

MAUREEN 35-45
Maureen is the kinder of the four sisters as she is described by Austin as the only one of the sisters as having feelings. However, she can stand her corner especially where Margaret is concerned and is continually at odds with her, never missing an opportunity to snipe at Margaret. Maureen is pregnant and ready to have her fourth child and she is married to Desmond. Maureen appears happy with her lot in life, she is a smoker and also enjoys a drink as does her husband Desmond.

RUPERT 9yrs (smaller role)
Rupert is Maureen and Desmond`s cheeky son, he can also be a bit of a handful – jumping on the sofa, he also sticks his tongue out at Margaret just before he leaves. He is happy playing with his Star Wars game and gobbling down his packet of sweets.

MAVIS 35-45
Mavis is the last of the four sisters we are introduced to, she is an extremely funny character to play, an inmate of a psychiatric home, she is collected by Tudor to stay with Miriam for the time of their father`s funeral. Mavis manages to get every ones name wrong and introduces family members to each other even though she does not really know them. A completely dotty character who will certainly attain a lot of laughs from the audience.

AVRIL 60’s/70’s (smaller role)
Avril is the doting wife of Tudor, a bit simpering and she continually repeats what Tudor has just said. Could probably see Avril and Tudor wearing matching jumpers/shirts.

MANSEL 60’s/70’s (smaller role) – Act 2
Mansel is another uncle to the four sisters, he loses his set of false teeth into the grave and Hugh has to retrieve them. Mansel is a bit `strange` though not nearly as bad as Mavis, he has trained his dog, (a shopping trolley), to sit up and beg!

DESMOND 35-45 (smaller role) – Act 2
Desmond is the husband of Maureen and appears a bit of a dodgy character, drinks, smokes, maybe see him with a small moustache. Gets Hugh into trouble by getting him drunk in the kitchen. Dresses as well as he can.

HUGH 45-50 (smaller role) – Act 2
Hugh is Margaret`s husband, he falls into the grave to retrieve Mansel`s false teeth, so when he appears in the second Act he is dressed in a dirt soiled suit. It appears he is under Margaret`s thumb but after a few beers with Desmond he mans up and the worm turns!

WARDEN female, any age, (small role – Act 2)
Authoritative character who comes to collect Mavis to take her back to the `home`.

Please note any small amount of smoking in the show will be done with electronic cigarettes.

British accent required preferably Northern/Yorkshire, though the script was written by a Welsh Author for that region.